


Parallel Nightmares

by Sismyn



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Comfort?, M/M, Malex, canon abuse mention, frank talk of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 03:58:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18652447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sismyn/pseuds/Sismyn
Summary: this is me personally assuming that the toolshed was not the last time Michael and Alex saw each other before Michael was getting evicted from the ranch by the government because i personally lost my Damn Mind when i didn't hear from my ex for a month but I got over it in like two years? so i guess I'm just parsing thatdisclaimer: i have no damn idea how the military works so it's kinda very vague.ps implied sexy times bc i am so sex averse i can't even write it *shrug emoji*enjoooooy





	Parallel Nightmares

Occasionally Alex came back to Roswell for leave or whatever, and he would find Michael without even meaning to.

And it was like he was back in high school again, crushing on him. He wanted to hear him talk. He wanted to forget about the tour he had to get back to.

God, he wanted to stay with him.

They would talk into the night outside of Michael's Airstream. Nothing really meaningful. Somehow, they always ended up in his bed.

Alex definitely preferred to stay with Michael over his father, even if he'd intended to put up at the motel, anyway.

But there were always reminders. Alex would cover Michael's left hand with his own every time and apologize.

"It's not your fault," Michael would mumble, half-asleep.

Alex didn't believe that, and it's why he never stayed. What if his father found out and did something worse? He had certainly threatened to on more than one occasion. Michael's agony that night still haunted his nightmares, and if he got hurt like that again, Alex didn't know what he would do.

Michael would free his hand to lay on Alex's cheek. "How long you here for this time, Private?"

"Going back tomorrow. Later today, I guess."

"When you coming around again?"

"Don't know, Guerin."

He would sigh and push his fingers through Alex's hair. "What if you come by and I've got a lady in here?"

"What do you mean if? Could have sworn I heard her in the closet earlier."

"Shut up, I'd definitely kick 'em out for you."

"Is this really hypothetical?"

"It's not like we're boyfriends, right?"

"No?" Alex would say with uncertainty.

"I don't like anybody else as much as you, though. We could be, if you want."

"I-I don't know," he would stammer, the fear of Michael getting hurt coagulating again and making him panic.

"This can just be our thing, then." Michael would fall asleep soon enough. He was almost too tired to sound disappointed. He'd drag his hand down to tangle it in Alex's. "I like our thing."

That'd calm him for a moment. "Me, too." But he could feel Michael's scars, and he'd catastrophize.

The time between Alex's leaves grew and grew. He was trying to protect him.

* * *

 

The last time, Alex came home and eventually found Michael in the drunk tank, lying on the bench and staring at the ceiling. He heard the door open and looked over. Smiled.

"Not where I usually have these dreams, but I'll take it."

"Guerin, what happened?"

"Did you know it's illegal to be drunk in public?"

"Yeah, Ron White did a whole bit about it."

"Oh yeah. Pub-lic. Haha." Michael sat up slowly. "You're really here, then?"

Alex leaned against the desk in front of the cell. "Yeah, why?"

He shrugged. "I worry about you, that's all."

"I just sit around on computers all day."

"In a war zone."

"True enough." He smiled slowly. "So you have dreams with me?"

"Tell you about them if you get me out of here." He looked at the security camera pointedly. "I'm not actually charged with anything this time. Just sobering up."

Alex had already talked to the sheriff; he had already gotten the go ahead to take Michael home. He unlocked the cell and watched him wobble across.

"Admittedly, I'm not there yet."

Alex offered his arm as assistance, and Michael took a nosedive into his shoulder.

"You know, they're really sexy dreams," he whispered as they made their way out of the building.

"Are you cuddling my arm? I thought they brought you in for being belligerent, not affectionate."

"You're not Hank."

"Thank God."

The right word may actually have been "nuzzling." "Racists make me belligerent. I was gonna punch him. Really hard. All the way to Old Mexico."

"And then you'd have been charged with assault."

"He sounded like a parrot. MAGA! MAGA!"

"Eugh."

"But he didn't want any crackers. Ah! But cannibalism. That's. That's not the worst, I guess. Hank's got ONE pro: not a cannibal. He could be a cabinet member. Just as qualified as the rest of them."

They actually went to the motel room Alex had rented. It was closer, and he wasn't so sure about Michael's legs. He dropped him on the bed.

"Oh, what luxury," Michael said, rolling around slightly before making himself comfortable. "You living the high life?"

"Well, if camping is the high life. Have a cot most of the time, but it's not even as good as the bed in the Airstream."

Michael frowned and reached for Alex's face. "You're really here?"

"Yeah. How much did you drink?"

"Not enough. Still awake. Are you done?"

"Done?"

"Are you staying this time?"

Alex shook his head. "About three more years." He saw Michael blinking rapidly. "What, now you're a weepy drunk?"

"It's not all sexy dreams. Alex, I don't want you to come home in a box."

"I literally can't think of anything that would make Dad prouder," he said, which was evidently the wrong thing to joke about. "Come on, what do you take me for, Guerin? I'm not that easy to get rid of."

"You can't come home in a box," he repeated, grasping for Alex's hands. "But you have to come home. Okay? Okay, Alex?"

"I keep coming back, don't I?" Michael must've been drinking more than usual. Usually whenever they drank together, he seemed restrained.

"You're taking too long. I miss you. I'm worried. Do you still like our thing?" He scooted across the bed to give Alex room. "Why are you still standing? Come here, come here."

He did as asked and considered what he said carefully, even as Michael played with the pressed collar of his shirt impatiently.

"I still like our thing, but Guerin, I don't want you to get hurt because of me again."

"Bah." He lifted his left hand and made a vague gesture. "I'd rather have you than this hand."

Alex wasn't at all sure what to say to that. It felt like some sort of declaration. He should've known. Of course Michael was willing to put himself in harm's way for him. He had jumped in between him and his father when the latter had a weapon, and he'd paid for it, too.

Michael wasn't going to pay for Alex's actions anymore, not if he had anything to say about it.

"That can't happen again, Guerin. It was my fault. It was."

Michael shook his head insistently.

"You wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for me."

"You're right, I would have been freezing in my truck." Michael kicked at his shins, perhaps not quite as gently as he intended. "Wouldn't have had the best sex of my life. I guess I wouldn't be pining like a fairy tale princess, but you win some, you lose some. You're worth that."

"I'm not." He didn't think he was worth the least of Michael's suffering.

Michael groaned. He suddenly pulled Alex close. Inebriation didn't usually lend well to agility, but his next words certainly sounded like a lack of inhibition. "I want you to stay with me more than anything."

"Guerin--" Alex sighed. "Did you just pass out on me?"

His grip tightened, but he didn't seem to be awake. Alex tried to get up, to change clothes, but Michael held him fast, arms around his waist now. "Are you part sloth?"

He was really too pleasant to fight, so he went to sleep that way, too.

* * *

 

Michael woke up feeling bleary and craving acetone, until he saw Alex. His mood brightened immediately. Close as they were, closer was better, but the movement woke him.

Alex could hardly get out a "Morning" before Michael kissed him softly.

"Should do this more often."

He hesitated. "I'm not going to take any more leave."

That stopped him cold. "Why?"

"I can't be here like this." Alex couldn't let the nightmares where his father hurt them become reality.

"Hey, I know I was drunk, and I'm sure it was a lot, but I meant everything I said, Alex." He wouldn't look at him. "Is that why? When you say like this--"

Alex looked up slowly. "I meant what I said, too. I'm not letting you get hurt because of me again."

"What hurts is when I don't see you for ages. _That_ hurts. I can take care of myself."

Wouldn't it be selfish? Maybe even greedy? For Alex to stay with Michael like they both wanted if it meant he'd be in danger? To be close whenever they wanted, to have their hands on each other...

"Alex, sometimes you say things while feeling me up that don't match the vibe," Michael mumbled. "Hate to be a bi stereotype, but I'm confused."

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"I'm right here." Michael pecked his lips. "And I don't hang out in a war zone, unlike you."

"There's war everywhere."

He was going to steal as many kisses as he could... until he hooked into what Alex meant by that. "I'm not afraid of your dad."

Alex looked away, but Michael gently turned his head back.

"I'm not, and you shouldn't be, either. You're a badass. A badass! Do you know how we win against people like him?"

"How?" he said, though he was sure the solution was for him to stay away.

Michael kissed him long and hard. When they recovered their breath, he said, "We keep living our truths."

Alex couldn't help but laugh. For a moment, they were back in the museum. He had magic kisses. He was sweet and earnest.

He deserved better than his mess.

"But I don't know my truth, Guerin. I don't know who I am."

Michael's hand lighted on Alex's waist. "I have a pretty good idea."

Curiosity got the better of him. "You do?"

He pressed their bodies close. "We were both struggling, but you still reached out to help me. And you did. That's who you are."

That sounded good. Of course it did. That's who he wanted to be.

"And that's how you seduced me, by the way."

"I did not seduce you."

Michael ignored this protest. "Spent all night debating myself about my sexuality. Did I like men? Was it just you? Did I still like women? All right, that part only took a minute. Definitely you, probably both. The rest of the time I was kicking myself for not kissing you when I had the chance. Forgive me if I've refused to pass up the opportunity ever since."

"I think _you're_ actually trying to seduce me right now."

"Is it working?"

He was definitely selfish. "Yes."

They spent the morning in the motel.

* * *

 

But Alex didn't lie about not taking any more leave. The only reason he came back early was because he had no choice.

He was trying to recover. Physical therapy and all. He heard someone mention a familiar name in passing while on desk duty and couldn't help but hook in.

"What's that about Michael Guerin?"

Alex was handed a thick file, including arrest records and mugshots. "We bought the land his Airstream's on, and we think he might refuse to leave given his history."

He flipped through the file quickly before returning it and standing. "I'll go."

"Er, Master Sergeant Manes is already going to--"

"I said I'll go," Alex snapped. There was no way in hell he was going to let them within range of each other without Alex present. He wasn't sure if his dad remembered Michael specifically or not, but he wasn't going to risk it.

And... he wanted to see him. There was no way around that. He hoped he was doing good. He remembered Michael having a few disorderlies under his belt, but he didn't think it was so many. And that's not all those were.

Somehow, he didn't think Michael would be happy to see him this time. It's what stopped him from seeking him out immediately. Sure, he was home now, but he still had to deal with his father. Still had to figure out who he was outside all that.

He wasn't in a box, though. That had to be worth something.

**Author's Note:**

> aND THEN THEY KISSED (  
> thanks for reading, hope it was coherent, didn't wanna work on it anymore *peace sign emoji*


End file.
